


a life in your shape

by asexuelf



Category: Gravity Falls, ParaNorman (2012)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Dipper Pines, F/M, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Parapines, Incest, Jealousy, Minor Norman Babcock/Dipper Pines, Pining, Self-Hatred, Sibling Incest, Title from a Mitski Song, Twincest, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27676277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asexuelf/pseuds/asexuelf
Summary: His name isn't Pines for nothin'.Dipper aches for the one thing - the one person - he can't have. Shouldn't have.
Relationships: Dipper Pines/Mabel Pines, Mabel Pines/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 22





	a life in your shape

**Author's Note:**

> baby's first pinecest!! woot woot! i am hella excited to post this >:3c it's inspired by the doublepines art that shows mabel with a boyfriend... i forget what that au is xD
> 
> oh well! i hope you enjoy~

Dipper would be the first to admit he wasn't good at talking to people - in a romantic sense, at least. He could be friendly with anybody (well, _almost_ anybody), but as soon as feelings started cropping up… Well, he wasn't exactly suave.

He can still see the look of discomfort and bewilderment on Norman Babcock's face… Ugh. Mabel still hasn't let him live that one down.

But that's not the only problem he's had with Mabel lately.

He knows it's wrong. He knows it's awful. And he knows she has to have _noticed_ by now, but he can't bring himself to dissuade her from believing the truth. When she's around, his tongue ties itself into a sailor's knot and sweat drips from his forehead like he's just risen from Lake Gravity Falls, revealing himself as Oregon's most incestuous cryptid.

It didn't _used_ to be like this, did it? His hands didn't shake like this when she touched him. He didn't stutter- stutter- stutter- like a scratched CD that remembers all of her favorite songs. 

The only thing that feels familiar is the jealousy. Well, maybe not _jealousy_ , not like when Robbie Shapiro showed his face around the Mystery Shack. More like- anger. Hopelessness. That guy - that _guy_ \- takes Mabel in his arms and she laughs and leans on his chest and all Dipper can do is hope the Earth swallows him whole.

It's not right to be so jealous of your sister's boyfriend. It's okay to be envious of his cool job, his expensive car, his shaggy-furred dog, but not of how often he gets to kiss your twin sister. It's not _right_ \- it's not right to see her brilliant, red-cheeked, newly braces-less smile and think that only you should be allowed to kiss that pink-glossed mouth.

It's not right. He knows it, bone-deep, but that doesn't seem to change anything. He's tried pushing it away, just like he used to. He put all of his energy into his crush on Wendy and his desire to know the mystery of the journals, then on school when they got back home from Gravity Falls, then on seducing Norman Babcock when he moved to their busy California hometown in junior year.

Dipper shudders. More like failing to seduce Norman Babcock. All he really managed was a concussion, in the end.

Maybe he should do that again: give himself a concussion or whatever amount of head trauma will allow him to forget these feelings. He'd rather be an amnesiac than disrespect Mabel like this. He feels so dirty. Diseased.

She finally has a nice, steady boyfriend. It's taken until senior year of high school, but she finally seems truly _happy_ with a guy. It's not just boy-crazy infatuation this time, either. She really likes the guy. Loves him, even.

Dipper's chest aches.

"You should feel happy for her," he chides himself, pulling the pen he was gnawing out from between his teeth. "You should be _happy._ "

Only the silence of their shared bedroom answers him. The Mabel-shaped half of the room, the Mabel-shaped place by his side, is empty. It's been empty a lot recently.

Dipper closes his eyes tightly and tries to forget. It almost makes him wish he had more homework, or a new crush to obsess over, or some world-ending paranormal creature to discover the mysteries of - anything, _anything,_ to distract him from the thoughts of round brown eyes, curly dark hair, and slender, nimble hands. Of _his_ hands - not Dippers, _his,_ that awful boy - resting on the slope of her hip.

Maybe it's time to start throwing himself into college prep. At this point, the only thing left to do is turn to drink.

Dipper picks up his laptop and types into DuckDuckGo's search bar: _Oregon Universities._ He doesn't think about his sister.

He tells himself he doesn't, anyways. It's better that way. Better for everyone.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! 💖
> 
> comments and kudos are an angsty twin's best friends!


End file.
